Women and the Bible: Is the Bible Sexist?

Submission: The “S” word.

In the English language, the word submission conjures up all sorts of negative images. Images of slavery, bondage and abuse. This is especially true in western countries like America and the UK, where freedom and the rights of the individual are held in the highest regard.

It is no wonder then, that many progressive individuals are offended by what the Bible says in passages like Ephesians 5:22-24.

“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.”

~ Ephesians 5:21-24 New Living Translation (NLT)

Many people take the first half of this passage by the Apostle Paul and instantly accuse Christians of being sexist, male chauvinists, or worse. This however, is completely untrue. The Bible never says that women are supposed to be subservient to men—in fact it never tells them to be subservient at all! Women are instructed to submit to their husbands only, not all men. (Colossians 3:18)

Furthermore, the Greek word used for “submit” in the passage is actually indicative of “respect,” and is used elsewhere in antiquary to speak of the voluntary submission of soldiers to persons of a higher rank. This meaning becomes even more apparent as you read the rest of this passage.

“As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.

“As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

~ Ephesians 5:24-33 New Living Translation (NLT)

Look closely at verse 33. 

“So I say again, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Where is the word “submit” in Paul’s summary? It's obvious from the context of this passage that respect was the idea that Paul was trying to convey to the early church, not submission. Furthermore, “wives respect your husbands in everything” leaves a lot less to the volatile 21st century imagination than “wives submit to your husbands.”

Another key point I want to make is that while this verse does address women first, it doesn't end there; it addresses men too, and commands them to “Love their wives just as Christ loved the church.” 

And what is the definition of love? 

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus loved the Church so much that he was willing to sacrifice himself for us, his “bride.” So the question is, men: are you willing to lay down your life for your wife; sacrificing yourself daily to care for her needs? Because that is exactly what the Bible commands us to do.

Love is sacrificing your own needs, wants, and desires in order to put another person’s needs above your own. “Submission” is respecting the husband’s role as head of the home and willingly sacrificing your own authority to allow him to lead. This does not mean that women are to be subservient to men. It also does not mean that a man can do whatever he wants to his wife. God’s command for men is that they love their wives, not abuse them and treat them like property. 

Jesus is the standard—the example of how men are to treat their wives. If what they are doing does not line up with Christ’s example, and they see this passage of scripture as justification to use and abuse their wife, then they are not loving their wife. Love and respect are both sacrificial—putting another person’s needs above your own. 

In that regard, a husband’s love and a wife’s submission are not at all dissimilar. Men want to be respected—respect is how they feel loved. They want to feel like they are Super Man to their wives, not Clark Kent. Likewise women want to be loved and cherished, to feel secure both physically and emotionally.

Ephesians 5:22-33 is not a passage justifying spousal abuse or male-superiority. It is a passage that clearly outlines the deepest desires of both sexes—even if some people try to deny it. It is a passage that presents guidelines for godly marriage in an attempt to prevent spousal abuse and sexism in a society and culture where both were commonplace.

So then, is the Bible sexist?

Not at all.

The Bible is a book of equality, not division or superiority. Jesus is the great equalizer. No one is better or worse than anyone else. Everyone is equal before God: Sinners in need of His mercy.

As the Bible says:

“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” 
~ Galatians 3:28 New Living Translation (NLT)